Raising A Blended Family Is So Damn Hard | Beautifully Blended Living

I have opened and closed my blog what feels like a million times in the past several weeks trying to think of something to write. Wondering what I can say that might help someone who’s reading my blog this week.

But ya know what? I have nothing.

I don’t have any magic post that’ll make you feel better and give you hope that the struggles of being an early stepmom are going to go away.

The truth is, raising a blended family is so damn hard.

More often than not I am kept up wondering how on earth we are going to make it through another day like today.

I was talking (okay, maybe crying 😬) to my husband last night that this is just not what I thought raising a family was going to be like.

I didn’t know I’d have kids that wake up with night terrors because of all the trauma they’ve been through. I thought I’d be able to tuck my kids into bed each night with I love you’s and them knowing they were safe in their home.

I didn’t know I’d pick my kids up from school and have to check a behavior chart to see how many times the behavioral therapist was called. I thought my kids would come home, we’d eat after-school cookies, and finish up homework together before dinner.

I didn’t know I’d take my kids to supervised visitation every other week with their biological mother. I thought we would be able to spend our Monday nights at soccer or swim team practice, and not stressing over how they’re going to react to each visit with their mother.

I didn’t know I’d have an in-home therapist helping my son twice a week, while at the same time analyzing our entire family. I thought we would be able to raise and discipline our kids without several therapists opinions on what we should or shouldn’t be doing in our own home.

I didn’t know that I was gonna spend days and nights trying to figure out exactly how my husband and I respond to an argumentative text from another woman. I thought we’d curl up next to each other after the kids go to bed and relax with popcorn and a movie.

I didn’t know I’d spend my days raising kids, but not even be able to take them to the doctor alone when they’re sick. I thought I’d be the one in the doctor’s office with them when they’re crying sick, not out in the waiting room wondering what’s wrong with my children.

I didn’t know I’d have to be the one to come in and give these kids the structure and discipline they were so desperately lacking. I thought all they would need is love and things would get better.

I didn’t know we’d spend nights up late talking because we just don’t know how to help our kids and their behaviors. I thought we’d always know what to do for them and be able to take away all the pain they were going through.

There wasn’t anything that could have prepared me for all the struggles that raising a blended family has come with.

It’s made keeping a marriage happy harder, keeping kids happy harder, and just being happy harder.

I am so ready to just enjoy being a family.

But, we aren’t there yet.

Will things get easier? I don’t know.

But I do know that we’re never going to stop trying to give these kids the “normal” life I so desperately thought they’d have.

They deserve it ♥️