Our Journey To Our First Baby Girl 🎀

As we get closer to the end of this pregnancy I constantly find myself thinking about just how lucky it is Alex and I are able to have any kids together at all.

When I first got involved with Alex I was only twenty-two. I had been married before but didn’t have any children of my own.

I was what they call a Childless Stepmom.

I knew I would have no problem loving Alex’s two boys as my own, but I also knew I wanted to have kids of my own as well.

Alex knew how badly I wanted to be a mom. When you’re dating someone with children you seem to have all those serious conversations way earlier than if there weren’t kids involved. We just happened to get those big “what do you want out of life” questions out of the way on our very first date.

I hadn’t been dating Alex very long when I was up getting ready for work one day and I got a long text message from him.

It was 7:15 in the morning. 😴

Alex shared with me that him and his ex-wife had decided they were happy with the amount of children they had and years ago he had decided to get a vasectomy.

I was totally taken back.

That was totally NOT what I wanted to hear.

This was a man I already was pretty confident I wanted to spend my life with. It felt like I was immediately placed with a choice of whether I wanted to be a mom, or his wife. In the moment, the likelihood of both didn’t seem possible.

Of course there are ways to reverse a vasectomy, but what if it didn’t work? What if too much time had passed since he got it? What if we paid all this money to get it reversed and it still wouldn’t work?

Or even worse — what if Alex didn’t want it reversed.

All these thoughts circled around my head for forever.

At some point Alex had decided that two kids was enough for him. That he was fine not having any more. He made a pretty permanent decision to ensure he didn’t have any more kids. Does he even want more? Is he really okay with no more kids?

Alex told me he would get it reversed and that he would love to have more children. But for a while, that didn’t seem like enough. I remember asking all of his family if they felt he was really wanting to have more children, or if he was just saying what I wanted to hear.

Everyone who knew Alex told me he adored children and was meant to have more, and it didn’t take me long of dating him to figure that out for myself.

Once we were engaged I didn’t want to waste any time trying to get his surgery done. Our youngest son was already almost 5 and I didn’t want to be raising two separate families. I wanted the boys to feel close to their siblings, and not like we were starting over with a new family.

We searched everywhere to find a place that didn’t cost an arm and a leg to get the surgery done. About a year later we ended up driving cross country with our two kids just to go to an affordable, but well-rated reversal center.

They told us it would take 6 months to a year for us to get pregnant, and that was if it worked. Alex got the surgery at the end of April but they wouldn’t be able to test for success until September.

Whelp, August 3rd I peed on that stick and we had some pretty clear confirmation that surgery had worked.

We were finally expecting our first “ours” baby.

While we were SO excited, we knew this wasn’t the end of our baby worries.

I was born with a split uterus and had been told I could have difficulty carrying a baby to term, that early miscarriage was possible, as well as very preterm delivery.

We were cautiously excited, making sure we were both prepared that this might not work out.

We’ve gone to the high-risk doctor every two weeks since we found out about our baby in August. We have had a few scares along the way, and I had to stop working and stay home, but we have FINALLY made it to 31 weeks.

AND SHE’S STILL IN THERE! 🙌🏼

It doesn’t even feel real but after a surgery and a whole lot of doctors appointments, we will be holding our little girl in just 9 weeks and I cannot wait.