Divorced Dads Struggle Too

Sometimes I look at Alex and don’t know how he is so strong.

I often find myself feeling defeated and exhausted from doing this stepmom thing. It can put me in a funk and I know Alex gets the brunt of my frustration.

You know what I forget? Alex is building this blended family right along with me.

He didn’t ask for this blended family either. There wasn’t a time where he thought “I can’t wait to grow up and divorce my kid’s mother so I can raise them with a stepmom.”

It just happened.

Alex lost both his kids and his marriage all at once. The heartbreak of that would be unbearable to me. Putting what happened before I met him aside, he still deals with so much every day.

There are days where over half of Alex’s time is spent fielding texts from the boys’ mother, or days where he is on and off the phone with his lawyer just trying everything he can to do what’s right for our boys.

Do you know how emotionally draining that can be? I spend five minutes dealing with that stuff and am so emotionally exhausted I can’t even function.

Alex deals with it while working a full-time job to support our family.

Did you know stepmoms have about as much legal rights to their step kids as the postman does? It is absolutely ridiculous how little we can do for them. Because of this, Alex has to take off work every doctor’s appointment, dentist appointment, and school meeting, because I am not legally able to make any of those decisions for the kids.

He has to stay late at work to make up hours, or go in early to make sure he can leave work just for the boys to have a simple checkup at the doctor.

Alex is always there when I need him. He puts everyone’s happiness above his own, especially mine. There has never been a time where I felt he didn’t sympathize with what I have to go through or that I wasn’t 150% appreciated.

It can be hard to be a divorced husband and for a while a single dad. Alex has done it with so much strength.

I don’t know what it is like to be in Alex’s shoes, and honestly I wouldn’t want to. He is the foundation that holds our family together and without him we wouldn’t be the blended family we now are.

As stepmoms it can be easy to see how hard we have it, but don’t forget about your man and how hard it can be for him too.

I will spend my whole life trying to be as strong for Alex as he is for me.

Happy Father’s Day, Alex <3